The beauty of having muscles

This is the story of how and why I decided to pursue a muscular physique as a woman in my thirties. Most of it was sort of unplanned, but the start of it all has a very common reason: back pain.

It's 2018 (I'm 32 years old), and the Desk Dweller lifestyle is starting to make its presence known in the form of neck pain and back pain. I was sitting too much, looking at phones too much because of my job as mobile app tester, and not moving enough. The only saving grace is that my weight was normal, I wasn't eating too much.

I wasn't happy with how I looked though, in typical female self-loathing style. Thinking I wasn't thin enough (I was), hating my belly fat, there was always something wrong with the way I looked. The back pain was where I drew the line though: "I'm too young for this shit!". This felt actionable.

I didn't know where to start, so I went to a small local gym for personal training twice per week. I only had one request to my trainer: I wanted to work towards being able to do a pull-up. Why I chose this goal is something I don't remember, I think it just sounded cool. And also, you train your back quite effectively with this exercise.

The first good feedback loop started here: within a month my back pain was gone. Dear reader, you aren't really strong after just one month of strength training, but apparently the movement alone was a good medicine to start with. I also enjoyed the training I was doing, which was an important discovery. Not that the training was effective (a sadly common theme among personal trainers), but I didn't know that at the time.

Key point: enjoyment will help with consistently showing up

Serendipity

I told two of my colleagues (Jacob & Stephano) that I had started strength training because they were also on the "gain train". Their reaction and enthusiasm was instrumental in my journey in the gym. I showed them that I was able to do a pull-up after 6 months of training, and they loved it!

Key point: receiving support from people around you can be instrumental

My colleague Stephano was like "why don't you try powerlifting?". This was a serendipity moment! He explained that you specialise in the squat, bench press and deadlift. I had done all three lifts already with my personal trainer, so the exercises themselves weren't completely new any more. Not that I was squatting to standards, I think I was doing "quarter squats" at that point. I now think it's odd that my personal trainer never really corrected my technique on this.

Anyway, it didn't really matter at that time. I started doing more powerlifting on my own, adding weight where I could. With the help of Jacob and Stephano, I also started to learn more about how nutrition mattered. You have to eat enough protein, for one. They also got me taking creatine, the number 1 supplement for people that do strength training. It gives you a slightly larger supply of ATP, enabling you to squeeze out extra reps, therefore leading to more muscle mass over time (compared to when you didn't take it).

At the time, Oliver and I were looking to buy a house. We ended up buying a house in a neighbourhood of Utrecht that is close to a powerlifting gym: Iron House. I remember being so intimidated by the people who trained there. I thought I was quite strong, but then I saw what the women there were lifting, and I was like "oh, I'm not strong at all". This was a huge motivator. It showed me what was possible!

Key point: having role models to look up to and aspire towards

At the end of 2019 I decided to work with a powerlifting coach via my new gym: Leontine. She actually knew what she was doing, and thus started my real journey towards results. Not that the first gym was totally useless, but the trainers I had were only reluctantly helping me with my goals (the pull-up). They'd rather do a HIIT training with me. HIIT training is a bit insidious, if you ask me. It will give you the feeling that you did a hard workout, but it's more cardio focused than strength focused. Most people don't know the difference, and will feel good about themselves because the workout felt hard. But at that point: I wanted strength, not HIIT!

Iron House gave me strength, all right. Leontine taught me how to squat to powerlifting standards, improved my bench press and deadlift technique, and forced me to keep adding weight every week. This is key. Progressive overload is needed in order to keep progressing.

Key point: you need to train hard enough: volume, intensity, frequency, consistency

The Rona happened, but I had bought a home-gym just in time. I kept working with Leontine while the gym itself was closed. I never missed a training, I trained 4x per week at that point. Good to mention that I trained 3x per week at that first gym, and I have never struggled with consistency. When I decide something, and I like it, I do it.

Powerlifting era

I stuck with powerlifting for 5 years in total (January 2020 - April 2025).

I brought my squat up from empty bar to 132.5 kg (292 lbs).
My bench press from empty bar to 81 kg (178.5 lbs).
And my deadlift from empty bar to 185 kg (408 lbs).
I participated in Dutch National championships in 2023 and secured the last place! Somebody has to do it, lmao.

My body weight went from 62 kg (2018) to a peak of 75.5kg (2024) after a particularly long bulk. The calories I ate went from around 2000 kcal (I think, I never really tracked my food) to over 3000 kcal during a bulk.

More importantly, though: my self perception shifted. I no longer hated the way I looked, I started appreciating my body for what it could do. Food was no longer the enemy, but fuel. I overhauled my diet completely. I went from being a grazer (somebody who eats tiny bits all day long) to a meal-only girl. Stopping snacking gave me a lot of mental peace around food. And it's not like this is a religion or something, I still have a snack here and there if life presents itself in unpredictable ways (parties, holidays, going out all day, etc).

Key point: food went from a constant stressor to a neutral entity (mentally speaking) and fuel to do well in the gym

The funny thing is though, my physique wasn't really impressive. Because I started out as a "skinny fat" person (someone with low muscle mass, and a bit on the higher side of body fat) I could just start eating a bit more and slowly gain weight in the form of muscle mass. My body fat therefore stayed about the same. If I have to wager a guess: somewhere in the 27-30% range. This is still in the healthy range for a woman, but it doesn't give you a shredded look. Life is really easy on this body fat percentage though! You can eat a lot, you don't need to be super strict with your diet, you can enjoy plenty of fun foods.

To show you what I mean, here's a picture of me in bikini back in september 2021. This was right after I overhauled my diet from grazer to meal-only girl. I had also done my first ever cutting phase, which is a way of saying that you are losing weight with a focus on fat loss only. You want to keep your muscle mass or even add muscle mass while you're losing weight.

I did this cutting phase for 6 weeks to see if I could achieve a meaningful result before I went on holiday to Greece. When I look at this photo, I'm quite critical. You can't really tell I lift weights from this photo. This was 1.5+ years into my powerlifting journey, mind you. I added a couple of kilos of muscle mass already, but the higher body fat percentage cloaks this.

This is one of the areas were a lot of people are clueless. Because so many people are overweight these days, the idea of what a fit body looks like has undergone inflation. This photo shows me sitting at around 27% body fat. Again, not unhealthy for a woman, but not really low either!

This was not the physique I wanted. But I am thankful that I gave myself a few more years (!) of bulking and muscle building before I truly started peeling away the body fat with a serious cutting phase.

Because the thing is: as a powerlifter, you don't really care about your physique. The main thing is to lift as much weight as you can. That doesn't mean that it isn't relevant to work on your body composition (% of muscle mass up, % of body fat lower) in order to fill in your weight class, but I wasn't ever truly competitive in my weight class, so I never did this.

As you can see, I did end up adding lots more muscle. I weighed around 74kg in this photo. My arms and shoulders got a lot bigger, and my back also is very muscular (thanks, deadlifts!)

I'm grateful for powerlifting to force me to lift crazy weights. It developed my resilience, helped me overcome fears, I met a lot of nice people through the sport. In these years I also did more than just squat, bench and deadlift. That's not the only thing powerlifters train. We also do: accessories (what the rest of you call normal gym exercises). I learned to push hard on all other exercises as well, truly learned what training to failure is.

Key point: you have to learn to train to failure on non-compound exercises

Photo shoot prep

From April 2025, when I quit powerlifting, to the end of the year I was without a coach. I scaled back my training to 3x per week, and just maintained my current physique. It was nice to take a step back from intensive training for a few months.

Then, I made the decision to finally peel away some of the body fat I had accumulated over the years with the bulking phases. At the top of my last bulk (April 2024) I weighed 75.5 kg, and I hated food because I had to eat too much of it. I went back to eating as much as I wanted, and my weight drifted downwards to a steady 73-74 kg.

To reiterate: I didn't hate how I looked. I was okay with it. Not super pleased, but okay. That was still a different feeling compared to how I felt at 62 kg, with no muscle mass to speak of. Back then I actively hated my body. So being okay with it was actually a huge improvement.

I was healthy, I was strong. And now, I was curious how cool my muscles would look at a lower body fat percentage.

I hired a coach specialised in hypertrophy training, nutrition, and working towards a photo shoot. In the year I turn 40 (2026), I wanted to give myself this gift of looking lean and shredded. A sort of cherry on top of the 8-year muscle building cake.

How does this work?

It's simple, really. You eat less kcal than you need (about 500-600 below maintenance), make sure you eat enough protein, eat quality foods, and go to the gym 4x per week, where you train hard enough to signal to your muscles "keep hanging on please, or better yet, grow please!". Doing it well, however, is not easy for some people (for various reasons).

Key point: cardio is overrated for fat loss

I also did cardio, but I do cardio for my general (heart) health and activity level. For fat loss, cardio is just not really that interesting. Strength training is so much more important!

Why do people fail?

• crash diets
• not enough consistency
• they don't train hard enough
• they think cardio is the way
• mental health issues around food, mild to moderate disordered eating habits like binging, restricting, guilt cycle
• eating like a toddler (not enough quality foods)
• making excuses for themselves
• putting short-term pleasures over long-term results
• the base habits aren't in place so they're spinning their wheels.
• they forbid certain foods, thereby increasing cravings for those foods
• they feel like this is a punishment instead of choice they made themselves

I don't say this to be a dick, or to brag, but a cutting phases should be easy and clear.

My base habits were already good:

• consistent training
• established food habits: meals only, lots of quality foods
• I barely drink alcohol
• I train hard enough, and feel confident about my technique being good enough

For the cut, I hadn't had to drastically change my lifestyle. I ate the same meals, but with a little less carbs and fat in them, and more veggies added. I quit alcohol entirely, I quit fun foods for 99%. I did NOT forbid certain foods, however.

For me, it was quite easy to flip a mental switch and stick to the plan. That's not to say that it was easy the entire time.

I struggled with hunger and low energy at times. I felt like a zombie at times. I only had energy for the things that were required of me, but it was hard to do spontaneous extra things. And then, in the last month, my body gave up on all feelings of hunger and it got easy again, even as I had to lower my calories to 1800 kcal per day. Mind you, my maintenance kcal was about 2700 kcal, so yeah, 1800 is low.

And then, after a little more than 3 months, it was done! I went from about 73 kg to 66.4 kg as the lowest weight. My waist shrank from 73 cm to 67 cm, meaning all my trousers are now too big. But more importantly: I lost zero strength, and actually got stronger. Training kept going really well, the entire time!

Key point: if you lose strength during a cutting phase, you're doing something wrong.

Mission accomplished!!

The eating and training protocol towards photoshoot day was also really fun. 5 days out I could increase my kcal back to maintenance, which is now lower than before the cut because I weigh less, at around 2300-2400 kcal. Carbs were back to normal numbers, which was a relief!!

The goal of the protocol was to de-stress the body out of the diet-state. Make sure the muscles look nice and full, while the waist looks nice and lean. So after a few days of high carb, on the day of the shoot (and possibly the day before) you scale back the volume of food you eat a little to look as good as possible.

I didn't do dehydration protocols (which are normal in bodybuilding) because I didn't want to. The only thing I did was have a shot of whisky the evening before the shoot and take extra magnesium before bed (that will ehhhh make sure you do a lot of number 2 on the toilet the next day, I got to 5!) to dehydrate a tiny bit without any risk to my health.

May the results speak for themselves.

Now what?

My body truly peaked that day of the shoot, I don't look like that any more, lol!

I am now 1 kg heavier than my lowest weight, and the look is a lot softer already. That's because I eat more kcal and carbs on a daily basis again. The stomach area is therefore fuller (literally food in the GI-tract), the glycogen stores in all my muscles are filled up again, removing that defined look, making it softer.

This is normal. Almost no one walks around shredded all year around. I didn't want to keep eating so few calories, I'm glad to eat more food again. That's why I am so happy I have the photo's! They are proof of my hard work and dedication.

Also: isn't it funny how 8 years of building muscle is revealed with just one serious cutting phase?

Key point: building muscle takes a lot longer than lowering your body fat %

To build that muscle: train hard, fuel yourself, be patient. That's truly it. There's no magic, no short cuts (if you want to stay natural like me, that is).

I am so incredibly glad I gave myself the gift of muscles in my thirties. It transformed me, physically and mentally. How I perceive myself is so much different compared to when I was just thin. I have so much more selfconfidence.

And, my muscle mass is the insurance I have against menopause. I have to see what my forties will bring, hormone shenanigans wise, but I am prepared. I will continue building, hopefully until old age.

Questions about my journey? Shoot.

Please be aware that I also offer strength training and nutrition coaching. It is my mission to get more women into the gym, as muscle is so important for us. Screw being thin, choose strong. If you're interested to become a client, please shoot me a message.